I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You're like the curious george of whores
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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