i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
