I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
