I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
