She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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