Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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