People with herpes should wear stickers.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
