Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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