girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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