Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
