Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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