I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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