im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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