You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
