my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
