she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this will be a night to untag.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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