sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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