we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
