Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
