Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
