Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
