I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
