Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
