That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
