porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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