the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
