no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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