The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
