and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
