I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
