Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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