come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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