ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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