i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
