Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
