Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
