Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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