Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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