so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
