his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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