She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
