dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and she was petting her beer can
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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