Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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