i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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