my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
