Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
