he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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