haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that's an acceptable place to lick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
