Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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