My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
