You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
