I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I won the penis lottery.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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