I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dicks are not precious.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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